While a first pregnancy is often filled with anticipation and quiet moments, the second is usually very different. There is already a “big” child at home who is actually still very little, wanting to be carried, still needing diapers, and demanding your full attention while your body is growing a new baby.

1. Everyday life: save your energy wherever possible

The biggest challenge is often exhaustion during the first and final trimester. Since toddlers do not have a “pause button”, it helps to adjust your daily routines:

• Floor time: move playtime to the floor. You can lie comfortably on a nursing pillow or mat while your child plays with blocks or looks at books beside you. This keeps you at eye level without constantly having to get up.
• The carrying dilemma: if your toddler wants to be carried, try to have more cuddles while sitting down instead. If lifting is unavoidable, bend your knees properly and protect your pelvic floor.
• Earlier bedtimes: do not spend your child’s nap time doing housework. Rest whenever you can. The laundry can wait, your recovery cannot.

2. Preparing your child for a sibling

For a toddler, the baby in your tummy is still a very abstract idea. You can gently encourage the bond from the start:

• Books: there are many lovely books about becoming a big brother or big sister that explain what is happening inside mummy’s tummy.
• Include your bump: let your child stroke your tummy or sing to the baby. If the baby kicks, they can carefully feel the movement.
• Playing with dolls: give your child a doll to “practise” with by changing its diaper, feeding it, or putting it to sleep. This helps make their new role feel more real.

3. What you need for yourself right now

During a second pregnancy, it is easy to neglect self-care and routine check-ups. However, your body needs more support than before:

• High-quality nutrients: keep an eye on your folic acid and iron levels, as your nutrient reserves may still be depleted from your first pregnancy and breastfeeding.
• Comfortable clothing: your bump often grows more quickly during a second pregnancy. Do not wait too long before switching to comfortable leggings and supportive tops.

Small things that can make everyday life easier during pregnancy:

A large nursing pillow can become your best friend at night, helping to relieve pressure on your growing bump and your back.

Non-toxic stainless steel water bottles for you and your little one help make sure you both stay hydrated, whether at the playground or out and about.

A well-organised changing bag, perhaps a practical rucksack, with enough space for your older child’s diapers and later the baby’s essentials, can make everyday outings much less stressful.

Consider using gentle baby oils that your toddler can use to massage your bump. This can become a lovely bonding ritual.

Questions about a second pregnancy

What should I do if I feel guilty towards my first child?
Many mothers struggle with feelings of guilt during a second pregnancy and worry that their first child may miss out. In reality, you are not taking anything away from them. You are giving them one of the most valuable relationships in life: a sibling. Fatigue is only temporary. It also helps your child understand that mummy has needs too, and that cuddles can be just as special as active play.

How can I cope with nausea while caring for a toddler?
This can be incredibly difficult. Try to focus on getting through the day as simply as possible. It is perfectly fine to let your child watch an episode of their favourite show while you rest on the sofa for 15 minutes. Preparing small snacks the night before can also help so you have something in your stomach before your toddler is ready to start the day.

Should I keep my older child away from the baby during the postnatal period?
No. In fact, excluding older siblings can sometimes increase feelings of jealousy. Let your child help in small ways under supervision, such as fetching diapers, gently stroking the baby’s head, or watching during bath time. When the baby is asleep, try to plan some special one-to-one time with your older child while the baby rests with a relative or close friend.

Can I continue breastfeeding my toddler during pregnancy?
Yes. This is known as tandem breastfeeding once the baby arrives or simply continuing to breastfeed while pregnant. It is generally safe as long as you are healthy, comfortable, and not at risk of premature labour. Be aware that the taste of your milk may change towards the end of pregnancy as it gradually returns to colostrum, which can lead some toddlers to wean naturally.